Comments on: The stuff you don’t think of until it’s in your face http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/ Wed, 13 May 2009 07:13:50 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Pille @ Nami-Nami http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1277 Pille @ Nami-Nami Wed, 13 May 2009 07:13:50 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1277 Nora sleeps in our bed most nights. I was worried about covering her with our duvet, but if she's beside me, I tuck the duvet between my feet, so there's no danger to cover her. If she's between us, we place her with her head between our pillows - we have one small pillow each, both placed at the far side of the bed, so there's plenty of room for her in the middle. I read that suggestion somewhere, as it's unlikely you turn over the baby with your face and not notice it. Works well for us.. But yes, plenty of decisions to make. K. gives me a break in the morning by changing her, and in the evening for a few hours, before we go to sleep, when he's playing with her. Much appreciated :) Nora sleeps in our bed most nights. I was worried about covering her with our duvet, but if she’s beside me, I tuck the duvet between my feet, so there’s no danger to cover her.
If she’s between us, we place her with her head between our pillows – we have one small pillow each, both placed at the far side of the bed, so there’s plenty of room for her in the middle. I read that suggestion somewhere, as it’s unlikely you turn over the baby with your face and not notice it. Works well for us..
But yes, plenty of decisions to make. K. gives me a break in the morning by changing her, and in the evening for a few hours, before we go to sleep, when he’s playing with her. Much appreciated :)

]]> By: Tatiana http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1266 Tatiana Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:44:35 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1266 I agree with those of you who note that you're the ultimate decision maker. I am too! We might bang heads here and there, but if it's something we can't compromise on, it goes my way. I don't think that there would be any way to think all these things through before baby and have answers for them. There isn't even any way to be prepared for all these decisions with the first baby. I knew I wouldn't be prepared, but I didn't realize how many little things I'd have to deal with every single day. It's humbling. And it's interesting to see the differences in how Chris and I interact with her. There's a lot to be said for "daddy parenting", not only because it gives mommy a break (haha!) but because it's a fresh perspective. And the baby probably appreciates that, too. Chris takes her for an hour or so in the mornings after she's fed when he isn't working. I LOVE IT! I agree with those of you who note that you’re the ultimate decision maker. I am too! We might bang heads here and there, but if it’s something we can’t compromise on, it goes my way.

I don’t think that there would be any way to think all these things through before baby and have answers for them. There isn’t even any way to be prepared for all these decisions with the first baby. I knew I wouldn’t be prepared, but I didn’t realize how many little things I’d have to deal with every single day. It’s humbling.

And it’s interesting to see the differences in how Chris and I interact with her. There’s a lot to be said for “daddy parenting”, not only because it gives mommy a break (haha!) but because it’s a fresh perspective. And the baby probably appreciates that, too.

Chris takes her for an hour or so in the mornings after she’s fed when he isn’t working. I LOVE IT!

]]> By: Cara http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1264 Cara Thu, 23 Apr 2009 01:35:22 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1264 The trouble with talking about it before is that you just don't know. 90% of the decisions we've had to make, I had no idea were coming. I mean, I read the books, but I didn't think they would be an issue. How could you possibly discuss everything? We've definitely had some disagreements. I could write a book about the frustrations of me vs him. In the end, we're a team. But I'm the captain. Make no mistake about that. The trouble with talking about it before is that you just don’t know. 90% of the decisions we’ve had to make, I had no idea were coming. I mean, I read the books, but I didn’t think they would be an issue. How could you possibly discuss everything? We’ve definitely had some disagreements. I could write a book about the frustrations of me vs him. In the end, we’re a team. But I’m the captain. Make no mistake about that.

]]> By: existere http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1260 existere Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:21:02 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1260 I can't even read this. For me right now, decisions revolve around whether or not to increase my eBay bid on a playmat. I can’t even read this. For me right now, decisions revolve around whether or not to increase my eBay bid on a playmat.

]]> By: Ms. Core http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1259 Ms. Core Wed, 22 Apr 2009 04:21:23 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1259 OH and we gave up the night time feedings too for the same reasons. What does work tho (and what my mom did for me at home) was take Lukas in the morning after he had been fed from waking up and let me sleep for another hour or so. Boy, I miss the pampering. OH and we gave up the night time feedings too for the same reasons. What does work tho (and what my mom did for me at home) was take Lukas in the morning after he had been fed from waking up and let me sleep for another hour or so. Boy, I miss the pampering.

]]> By: Ms. Core http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1258 Ms. Core Wed, 22 Apr 2009 04:19:23 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1258 Yeah, I am grappling with several of these issues now too. Things have kinda gone to hell around here and I am suffering. I am completely anti-CIO during the first few months for sure and still am currently for my little one. However, to echo what Andi said there are signs that he is actually manipulating me a little now. He fake coughs to get my attn and has smiled at me almost immediately after screaming for me to come in. I am certain you will start to notice them in Maia within the next few weeks. I am not sure either of us are ready for CIO yet bu what I am sure of is that I can't continue this way for several weeks longer. I know Chris works a ton too but so many days/night I feel like a single parent and not having backup is really tough. Thank goodness we hired a babysitter for a few hours a week. And the bed thing, yeah we are struggling with that too. Altho Kevin spends most nights on the couch now anyway since he needs to sleep to get through a day of medical school. One more thing, do you really think even if you had thought of all this stuff before hand that you could of made any real decisions at that point? I feel like so much depends on what type of baby you have and what you work and living arrangements are like. There are somethings I stayed exactly where I thought I would on and others that I have completely changed my mind. Yeah, I am grappling with several of these issues now too. Things have kinda gone to hell around here and I am suffering. I am completely anti-CIO during the first few months for sure and still am currently for my little one. However, to echo what Andi said there are signs that he is actually manipulating me a little now. He fake coughs to get my attn and has smiled at me almost immediately after screaming for me to come in. I am certain you will start to notice them in Maia within the next few weeks. I am not sure either of us are ready for CIO yet bu what I am sure of is that I can’t continue this way for several weeks longer. I know Chris works a ton too but so many days/night I feel like a single parent and not having backup is really tough. Thank goodness we hired a babysitter for a few hours a week.

And the bed thing, yeah we are struggling with that too. Altho Kevin spends most nights on the couch now anyway since he needs to sleep to get through a day of medical school.

One more thing, do you really think even if you had thought of all this stuff before hand that you could of made any real decisions at that point? I feel like so much depends on what type of baby you have and what you work and living arrangements are like. There are somethings I stayed exactly where I thought I would on and others that I have completely changed my mind.

]]> By: Andi http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1257 Andi Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:28:14 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1257 So funny. i was just thinking about the list of things I wish I'd thought of!! #1: get her used to room-temperature milk in the bottle. It didn't take any trying for us with Piper. Breastmilk can sit out at room temp for up to 6 hours, so if you want Chris to get up with her, he can just grab that ready-to-go bottle. Your family will learn her 'hungry' cry and know when to feed her. I have a friend who takes her bottles straight outta the fridge and give them to her son, who takes them without a problem. Warmth is a luxury, not a necessity, and most babies don't need it or mind it. #2: Sleeping? I totally indulge in the baby snuggles in my bed in the mornings too :) Enjoy it while you can, I say!!! and lastly, #3: CIO. I was totally against it until recently, when I realized that she's old enough and smart enough to figure it out. I can't tell you when my mind changed, but I just knew she was ready. We started small, letting her fuss here and there, but now she puts herself to sleep at night easily and quickly; soothes herself to sleep for naps; and generally is easier to deal with all around. So, you'll do what you feels right when the time comes (and you can't handle what's happening anymore). . . That's all I got. Great post!!! So funny. i was just thinking about the list of things I wish I’d thought of!!

#1: get her used to room-temperature milk in the bottle. It didn’t take any trying for us with Piper. Breastmilk can sit out at room temp for up to 6 hours, so if you want Chris to get up with her, he can just grab that ready-to-go bottle. Your family will learn her ‘hungry’ cry and know when to feed her. I have a friend who takes her bottles straight outta the fridge and give them to her son, who takes them without a problem. Warmth is a luxury, not a necessity, and most babies don’t need it or mind it.

#2: Sleeping? I totally indulge in the baby snuggles in my bed in the mornings too :) Enjoy it while you can, I say!!!

and lastly, #3: CIO. I was totally against it until recently, when I realized that she’s old enough and smart enough to figure it out. I can’t tell you when my mind changed, but I just knew she was ready. We started small, letting her fuss here and there, but now she puts herself to sleep at night easily and quickly; soothes herself to sleep for naps; and generally is easier to deal with all around. So, you’ll do what you feels right when the time comes (and you can’t handle what’s happening anymore). . .

That’s all I got. Great post!!!

]]> By: humpsNbump http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1256 humpsNbump Tue, 21 Apr 2009 23:57:06 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1256 Great post. And I can imagine how hard it is to come to a compromise on the many parenting decisions "in the moment" while dealing with a newborn baby. It's overwhelming enough! I agree that you should try to talk things over beforehand but realistically, you don't really know what decision to make until the baby comes along. Every baby is different and your stance on co-sleeping, bath schedules, powder at diaper changes, swaddling, etc etc can all change. And each parent will probably find that different things work for them. That's also fine too. Someones the best policy is to be flexible. ~ humps Great post. And I can imagine how hard it is to come to a compromise on the many parenting decisions “in the moment” while dealing with a newborn baby. It’s overwhelming enough!

I agree that you should try to talk things over beforehand but realistically, you don’t really know what decision to make until the baby comes along. Every baby is different and your stance on co-sleeping, bath schedules, powder at diaper changes, swaddling, etc etc can all change. And each parent will probably find that different things work for them. That’s also fine too. Someones the best policy is to be flexible.

~ humps

]]> By: Jinxy http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/the-stuff-you-dont-think-of-until-its-in-your-face/#comment-1255 Jinxy Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:55:36 +0000 http://verygoodyear.wordpress.com/?p=1130#comment-1255 Its mind blowing how many decisions we make daily. For the most part my hubby lets me make most of the final rulings (it works for us and we usually agree), he does have something different in mind sometimes and then we hash it out. We had a whole cry it out discussion last night. I don't agree with it and he doesn't either. But when I went to wash my hair last night Lily cried almost the whole time no matter what the Hubs did. The crying makes him feel bad because he feels he can't help. He wants to know the difference between her crying in her bed/bouncer/swing or while he's holding her. I say if he's holding her she feels secure. He sort of agrees. Its mind blowing how many decisions we make daily. For the most part my hubby lets me make most of the final rulings (it works for us and we usually agree), he does have something different in mind sometimes and then we hash it out.
We had a whole cry it out discussion last night. I don’t agree with it and he doesn’t either. But when I went to wash my hair last night Lily cried almost the whole time no matter what the Hubs did. The crying makes him feel bad because he feels he can’t help. He wants to know the difference between her crying in her bed/bouncer/swing or while he’s holding her. I say if he’s holding her she feels secure. He sort of agrees.

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