Midwife would say I just hit 29. WTE newsletter says I just hit 30. Hospital girl would put me at 29 and 5 days. Point being, BABY IS GETTING CLOSER and I am starting to get a little freaked out about it all.
Those quiet moments where Chris and I snuggle on the couch and just watch Lost are coming to a close. I’m going to have to worry about what our girl is exposed to on television, and probably watch way, way more Disney Princess movies than I’ve wanted to since I was 5.
Making the spontaneous decision to head out to Tim Horton’s and grab a hot chocolate at 9pm is going to become way more involved than grabbing our coats and heading out. For that matter, it’s only going to get MORE involved as she grows up.
Will I still be able to leave the food and water dishes for the chihuahuas on the floor? How many times a day will Maia knock them over? How many times will I catch her eating dog food?
The mornings when Chris is home, and he sneaks into the bedroom with the dogs to wake me up… are ending. I may already be awake and taking care of the baby. Maybe he’ll sneak in with the baby.
No longer can we just go grocery shopping — we have to swing down the ‘baby aisle’ and check out any sales going on. There are bags of Pampers sitting in the baby’s closet that are for around 6 months old, but we bought them because they were on super sale. On the bright side, I’ll get to look at cooking in a different way, and I’ll have a (hopefully) eager little helper in the kitchen with me, which means I get to buy all sorts of kid-friendly kitchen products for her to use. I can teach her how to cook for herself. I will also have to try out some disgusting things she’ll “make” like …. ketchup on pb&j sandwiches. Maybe daddy should take care of all that.
How much time will I have to sit here and blog? When will life start to settle down after she gets here? Never? If I think about her this much already, how all-consuming must it be actually to have a child walking around this world?
I feel ashamed when I say that these things kind of scare me with how foreign they are. But I know, deep down, that it’s good I’m thinking about all of this. I feel unprepared, but I can accept that there’s no way actually to be prepared for what’s coming. The transition we’re making as a couple is overwhelming, but people have been doing it for millions of years; it’s the most natural process in the world. Life isn’t perfect and it never will be, but fortunately it’ll take my daughter years until she becomes jaded enough to realize this, and I am greatly looking forward to re-learning everything I thought I already knew, through her eyes.