37 weeks, 5 days. (Does the small of my back look hairy to anyone else?)
I want you all to know that I had to put pants on before Chris would take this picture. Really I just wanted to pose in the big black t-shirt of his I’ve been wearing all day and let it hang over my belly & hips, but he refused and said I needed to put on some pants and pull up my shirt. Pfft. Men.
For the past little while, ever since that night when Buffy barked & made the lady across the hallway bang on her window at me, I’ve been putting the dogs on their leashes and taking them to the side of the building (which means an extra flight of stairs, but whatever — I’m pregnant, not broken) rather than out back. But tonight, since I’ve been having cramping off and on, I did not put them on their leash and I just let them out back. As usual, Buffy barked twice as she bounced out into the snow (sigh) and peed near the lady’s patio. Then she started barking more, the way she does when she sees someone, and I was like oh shit, the bitch is probably standing in her doorway looking at the dogs, but Buffy ran over to me so I picked her up to bring her inside. Then Joss, interested in whatever had made his sister bark, ran over… and started to bark…
So bitch opens up her door to yell at me: “Keep those dogs from pissing on my patio.”
Okay, you know, I understand. In fact, I am immensely annoyed that they seem to like peeing near her patio (although I assume they do so because less snow accumulates there). “I’m sorry, I do try,” I answer.
“Put them on a fucking leash!” she screeches and slams her door. WTF?
Clearly, I’m in the wrong. I know this. I was kind of hoping that, you know, since it’s the first time in a week (and they go out three/four times a day) that I’ve taken them out back, I wouldn’t have to deal with any drama. I was hoping that I’d just let them out, they’d pee, poo if they needed to, I’d clean up after them and we’d come back inside. Now I’m all insulted and edgy and annoyed. I know they should be on their leashes. I also know it takes me longer to get their harnesses and leashes on than the amount of time they actually spend out in the cold, and it’s not exactly the safest thing in the world to be stomping up and down two flights of stairs while 9 months pregnant with two dogs on leashes running around me. So that’s why I made the decision I did. I do accept that it’s my problem, these are my dogs, and I don’t really have the ‘right’ to inconvenience or annoy someone with my pets (nor do I want to). I will continue putting them on leashes and taking them over to the side of the building.
I was just really, really hoping to get away with it tonight. Ah well.
I subscribe to the GraphJam RSS feed, and yesterday this little Venn diagram popped up. It made me smile, so I thought I’d share:
Haha! I’m sure we’ve all felt this way one time or another… I’m particularly fond of “to never take off my pajamas”.
Yesterday I had my week 37 midwife appointment — technically, 37 weeks and 4 days. I can’t believe how soon our Maia will be here. I can literally count the time until my due date on my fingers and toes (even if you give me crap about how thumbs aren’t fingers!) And seriously, January’s almost over already. When the fuck did that happen?
Anyhow, Maia’s head is very low in my pelvis, which is great, although it’s still “slightly” free which means it’s not as low as it will get. She’s in the right position for birth at the moment as well, and we got a good laugh out of my midwife doing a little “demonstration” of how twisty a baby is when she comes out of the vagina (the midwife did this like… snake neck thing with her shoulders really low, then kind of twisted around to be face-up with big bright eyes and was like “AND THEN SHE SAYS HI TO ME!”) Maia’s heartbeat sounds fine and I still have trace protein in my urine. I’ve also gained more weight (sigh) and am closing in on 40 lbs added. In all honesty I don’t particularly care about how much weight I gain during the pregnancy unless it becomes a health issue, I just dread the thought of counting the pounds afterwards because I just know I’ll be worrying about them along with everything else that’ll be on my mind, and I hate that thought.
I felt as if breathing was a bit difficult last night, as if I were constantly labouring to breathe. I’m wondering if this was psychological and I just felt this way because Chris mentioned something about how heavily I was breathing in the car last night. I certainly don’t feel short of breath, but my nose is pretty stuffy and I am thirstier than usual. Chris says I’m not panting like a dog anymore, so that’s reassuring at least.
Yesterday was a really productive day. We were out of the house ‘early’ (hey, 10am is early!) to head to an office to get my Social Insurance Number (the Canadian equivalent of a Social Security Number), and it’s the first official piece of documentation I have with my MARRIED name on it which is awesome. Due to going through the permanent residency process, I never bothered putting my married name on documentation because I figured that a name change halfway through the paperwork would be too much trouble, and since every piece of identification I had used my maiden name, I decided to keep things ‘simple’ for us. But it’s been bugging the shit out of me to think of having my maiden name on my baby’s birth certificate, so I’m in a mad rush to get whatever documentation I can changed over to my married name. I’m pretty sure my midwife will put my married name on the birth certificate so long as I don’t have to go to the hospital. I guess I should talk to her about that.
We also finally put my name on the bank account (it’s been on the checks all along). We couldn’t do it beforehand because I had nothing “official” to prove my Canadian address, and now with my Permanent Resident card I do. So that’s nice. And I finally have an ATM card — I haven’t really cared about one since we’ve had a shared Visa account for years now, but it’s still nice. After doing this we went across the street to this cute little sushi place where they had a bento box lunch special — $6.99 for chicken teriyaki, a salad, and three cucumber rolls. I thought there was too much of the sweet teriyaki sauce which meant that halfway through I felt like I was eating a lollipop and not rice & protein, but it was altogether really tasty and I would go back again (and get the sauce on the side).
Our friends from Vancouver are out here this week and we were able to visit with them and their 18 month old after lunch. We were supposed to go see them on Wednesday but the weather was just too nasty to justify leaving the house and driving the 45 minutes to the place they’re staying with family. Their son is adorable — all smiles and giggles — and pretty well-behaved, as in he didn’t HAVE to be the center of attention and he amused himself with his toys and books. I really wish they still lived out here or even that we lived out there. They’ve been friends with Chris for something like 20 years now and they’re really the friends of his that I immediately felt comfortable and compatible with.
After seeing them, we went out to dinner with a friend that moved to that town the same weekend we moved out, someone that I hadn’t seen since November. I almost ordered the “country fried chicken” since it’s not something I EVER see on menus up here, but the thought of vinegary fries and lemony, salty, beer-battered fish won me over (I think my vinegar/sour taste buds are my most demanding!) and I ended up going for good ol’ fish & chips.
The waitress thought I was totally adorable and fawned over my big belly… it felt nice. In fact, I find that most women are like that — they are just enamoured by baby belly, and so sweet and complimentary towards me that it makes me blush. Chris and I laugh about it, and I try to keep in mind that once the baby is actually here, and starts crying out in public, the same people who thought my bump was “so cute” will probably be thinking “SHUT THAT DEMON CHILD UP ALREADY!” So I’m enjoying this while it lasts.
Related, my mom has been bugging me to get a belly pic and since I haven’t in weeks (I have been so distracted!), that’s next on my list of things to get done! Soon!
And another one of my bloggy friends has welcomed her new arrival — arrivals, in this case! Wiser Mom brought twin boys Doot & Bing into the world on January 22nd. I’ve been following her blog for months now and it’s really awesome to see a picture of those boys I’ve been reading so much about. Drop by, see for yourself, and congratulate her!
Woke up in the 1am and 2am hours with a stabbing pain in the middle left side of my abdomen, situated in the back but it’s not back pain, it’s inner pain. Woke up at 3:46am with the same pain and I’ve been awake ever since. Very similar in feel to earlier in my pregnancy when I’d sleep on my back and crush a nerve.
The pain faded when I would stand and go pee (normal clear urine), but it’s the sort of ‘fade’ where I still can point to the exact spot that hurts and it’s really just an achiness now, nothing unbearable but I still don’t feel right. After my third time waking up to this pain, I can’t go back to sleep because I’m so fucking worried about it now.
Lying on my left side (where the pain is) is more comfortable than lying on my right side. Sitting up is comfortable if I’m supported with a pillow behind my back like usual. I feel the pain the least when I’m standing and walking around, but regardless of my position there is a definite ache in that spot although I may just be hyper-aware of it right now since I’m on edge. However, the really intense sharp pain has not happened in the time I’ve been awake, aware, and moving. I’ve also felt Maia move a few times, which is good. Still, I’m terrified that something is wrong and I’ll have to go to the hospital and pay a million dollars, get an x-ray, and end up walking out missing a kidney with a caesarean-born baby in my arms.
I just took 500mg acetominophen, and I’m going to give myself until 4:46am and then page my midwife if this continues and see what she thinks. I woke Chris up and talked to him until he was coherent, then let him know everything I was feeling and made him touch the spot on my back (it feels better when he massages it — I am going to warm up a washcloth and use it as a psuedo heating pad to see if that helps) until he knew exactly where the pain was. I have my medical papers from my midwife right on the living room table. I’m writing this all here so there’s as precise a record as possible of how I feel and what’s going on. Even in the 15 minutes I’ve taken to type, the acetominophen seems to have kicked in a bit and I definitely feel it less, so I’m going to try to rest on the couch (the dogs sure are happy to see me) and then give the midwife a call in the morning. If I can sleep. If I can’t, well… I don’t really want to think about what’ll happen then.
For Christmas, a mother we know gave us a Munchkin Fresh Food Feeder for a gift. Today while doing some work in the nursery, I decided to open the packaging and play around with this.
Now, I have to say, I think this is an uber cute idea and I can’t wait to use it to help with teething pain as well as introduce Maia to some new foods when she’s ready for them. I’m already daydreaming about bringing her to the farmer’s market with me and becoming a ‘regular’ there, sampling the fresh fruit and feeding her organic, locally grown produce.
But opening the thing for the first time… holy geez. There are two little ‘arms’ that poke up through the lid, and when you squeeze them together, the lid can be pushed open. Or, at least, that’s the idea. The arms are triangular with the widest part where they meet the lid, so my fingers kept sliding off and I couldn’t get a good grip. Neither could Chris. I took a pair of needle-nose pliers to try and get a better grip, but all they did was score the plastic and still slide off. Chris finally ended up taking the pliers and individually bending the arms back a bit, since it seems like the item was manufactured without the arms set properly to even be able to bend back far enough to fit through the lid. (I’ll note that, from my quickie internet browsing and the link I posted above, it seems that they are now manufactured with a latch on the side, not arms at the top, which would make them infinitely easier to open).
So I can open it now, but I spent a few minutes swearing at it and wondering why on Earth a company would make such a stupid thing. Of course, that sounds mean, but I’m still totally geeking out about getting to use it for the first time.
Negative for Group B Strep. It’s not a big deal whether I was negative or positive, but this does mean that if my water were to break before labour I would not need to be immediately induced to reduce the risk of spreading GBS to my baby, and I do not need to take antibiotics while in labour. Yay!
I cook pretty often these days, although I expect that I’ll get to spend way less time doing it in the coming years. Regardless, since I try to change ‘recipes’ up often and find out what tastes best to us, I decided to start a little food diary. It’s not meant to be pretty for people to read, just a bit of stream-of-consciousness, but if you’re interested then check out my “It Was a Very Good Meal” blog. Failures, successes, whatever — if it was a meal or method that stirred my interest, I’ll post it there!
Really good stuff will still get shared here though.
Sleep is getting really, really sparse and uncomfortable these days (and afternoons, and nights, because anytime I can grab a nap I do). But honestly, no matter which side I sleep on I end up with that hip aching and waking me up. This shooting pain in my left hip is really obnoxious, and getting rid of it will be one of the best things about having my baby — well, at least I’m banking on it going away at that time!
Of course, I’m getting up to pee all the time. This isn’t honestly too bad, except for the “getting up” part. If I had a pee pan I could use in bed, I wouldn’t mind it. Okay, well, in THEORY I wouldn’t mind it, but in PRACTICE I’m sure it’d be uncomfortably gross.
Speaking of uncomfortable, something that’s been on my mind about giving birth is wondering what I’ll wear. I’m kind of leaning towards nothing, except I’m not sure how I feel about being totally ass naked in front of my mom & mother in law. Clearly I won’t be wearing anything from the waist down, and I don’t really want to wear anything on my chest. Part of this because I want immediate skin-to-skin contact with my girl. I’ve even debated asking Chris not to wear a shirt when I’m in active labour so he can have skin-to-skin immediately too, but then I realized that taking a baby out of her warm swooshy uterine environment to put her on her daddy’s hairy chest is probably a really mean thing to do. Another part of it is because whenever I’m sick with a bellyache or whatnot, being naked makes me feel better. Another part is because I hate the thought of being sweaty with fabric sticking to my skin. I don’t know. I guess it’s one of those things that is impossible to plan for and we’ll just have to see what happens!
PS: 37 weeks, 2 days!
My baby is like… right around the corner. Or, more realistically since I’m a first timer, still a month away. But it honestly feels like the past eight months or so have flown by so quickly that I still have a bit of a hard time realizing it. I mean, these are (God willing) the last days of our household being just Chris & I for a long, long time. Things are going to get more exciting, more meaningful, and more stressful.
We were talking about sex today (thanks to Craigslist, which we were perusing for glider/rocking chairs and ended up in the ‘casual encounters’ section) and I was like “WE ARE NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN, BECAUSE SEX IS HOW YOU GET PREGNANT.” He was sad. But it made me start thinking about birth control after the baby arrives. There are several options that are ‘safe’ to use while breastfeeding, which is the most important consideration to me. Then, I want something that isn’t inconvenient to remember — like the pill — I swear to God I’ve taken the pill for at least four years of my sex life and if I’ve ever remembered to take it at the same time more than two days in a row, I’d consider that a miracle. I was on the patch before getting pregnant, which I pretty much loved once I found a spot to put it that didn’t itch like mad (that is, my shoulder), but it’s not breastfeeding approved.
So I’ve been thinking about IUDs. The thought of some object taking up permanent residency in my uterus and leaving a little string that I have to check out dangling through my cervix disgusts me though, and having read Bad Mommy Moments Mirena Diaries, I worry about the impact that the IUD could have on my personality and comfort. Sigh.
I should bring this all up with my midwife. I don’t want baby #2 for awhile — I don’t want to be pregnant again — I want to eat sushi and drink wine. I also think I’m going to ease up on my dietary restrictions and start eating red meat & pork products again. This isn’t just an economic consideration, but a taste one as well; I feel like there’s an entire world of food out there that I’m excluding and I don’t have a reason for it anymore. I really love cooking and I would like to be able to experiment more with different flavours and cuts of meat, and I don’t want to force Maia onto my “diet” as she’s growing up. Also, I made a pot roast for Chris the other night and I just about was dying from how amazing it smelled. And I miss corned beef.
I’m still mostly sleeping on the couch, although I’ve spent a few nights this week in bed. I hate when I need to get out of bed though; it’s a total pain to try and roll out, and for some reason my pelvis always hurts worse when I stand up from being in bed than when I stand up from lying on the couch.
This Wednesday, we are going to see some friends of ours who grew up here with my husband, but moved to Vancouver two? or three? years ago. They’re visiting, and they have with them their son, who is probably 16 months or so old now. I remember seeing him when he was only three months old and I was just terrified of the thought of holding him — because I didn’t want to end up wanting a baby. These are the only friends of ours who have a kid and they are so thrilled for us, but it breaks my heart that this is just a visit and they’ll be back on the other side of the country so soon. For a long while, Chris and I were debating moving out there, and a part of me still wants to, but I also absolutely love the city we’re in right now. I like that we’re close to his family. If we moved way out there, we’d be on the opposite coast from my family instead of just a nine hour drive. Then again, if his company were to open a terminal out West and offer him a job there, well, I don’t know if we’d be able to refuse… I really like changes in scenery. It’s hard for me to feel settled somewhere, at this point in my life. I’m sure when Maia is in school and has friends, the decision to uproot her will matter far more than any decision to uproot myself.
There’s one prevailing thought that goes through my head no matter what, though:
Life is good.
I am so grateful to feel this way.
Just had some lady from the City come knock on my door and say that we need to license the dogs. I’m kinda curious as to how this even came up — we’ve been living here since September and hadn’t heard a peep about it, from the landlady or the vet or anyone. I mean, I did just look it up and it is an actual city bylaw that dogs must be licensed, so no biggie… but I totally bet it was the bitch across the hallway that complained to the city or something.