Fuck You Friday #1

January 16, 2009 at 12:07 am (Fuck You Friday) (, , , )

In solidarity with Cristin, and because I don’t really do any other memes so why not find one that plays into my innate bitchiness, here is the first (of many?) “Fuck You Friday” posts from me.

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Fuck you, Apartment.

Fuck you for being so charming when we first came here.

Fuck you for seducing us with your big, bold balcony and being on the second floor so I know that firemen can rescue me if there’s a problem.

Fuck you for having some douchebag that scrawls “CLEAN UP YOUR DOG SHIT” on the doors to go outside.  Who made them the poopie police?

Fuck you for all your issues that give me issues.

Fuck you for the garage construction project that’s been going on since October with no end in site, yet we’re still paying for parking even if our spot isn’t always ours.

Fuck you for the three washers that don’t have a reliable stream of hot water and the fact that sometimes your dryers take money off my card but won’t turn on.

Fuck you for not having any lights by the doors in the back where we take the dogs out.  Do you know how many times I’ve fumbled with my keys while trying to open the door?

Furthermore, fuck you for there being no garbage cans outside for me to toss my baggies of dog poo in.  Sometimes I throw my poo in the lobby trash can just out of spite because I hope it stinks in the morning when everyone is walking through.  I especially hope the poopie police goes through the lobby on those mornings.

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5 Comments

  1. Gala said,

    You know I never lived in an apartment building. The closest I came was a townhouse, which I hated. Anyway, I would really put all your complaints down on paper, and hand them in with the rent EVERY month. Maybe it won’t do all that much, but it may make you feel better. Some of these things really need to be taken care of though…NO light outside??? I’d be afraid of getting mugged or something. Do they have e-mail?? Make that building supervisor work for his/her money, and gently remind them, over and over and over…the squeeky wheel gets the grease!

  2. cristin said,

    Fuck the poopie police! Thanks for playing along.. I’ll go link to you now…

  3. Ruth said,

    I have an old house. A very old house. I will trade with you.

    Very funny stuff.

    That baby is almost ready to come out, yeah?

    ::waves at Cristin::

  4. Queen of Feisty said,

    I like the idea of an F you Friday… sounds fun, found you over at Cristins place.

    Feisty

  5. humpsNbump said,

    I love the new Fuck You Friday feature. There’s a hand ful of things that in my life that need to Fuck off too. Keep it coming…

    ~ humps

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