I’ve been wanting to type up a post sooner, but to be honest, my ass hurts, and sitting at my computer has been so low on my list of priorities. My little hemorrhoid buds took the opportunity during labour to blossom into hemorrhoid flowers, and out of everything else that’s happening, they’re the most obnoxious thing. Trying to stand up is an exercise in patience, perserverance, and tolerance for feeling like my entire intestinal system is going to slide out of my anus. I don’t think you can describe my movement as “walking”.
In fact, here’s a good representation of how mobile I am:
But, enough explaining. On to the good stuff!
I tore badly during the birth. So badly that, at 2:30am after some breastfeeding, bonding, and clean-up, I had to go to the hospital. I didn’t tear once, I tore three times — in the shape of a W kinda — and one went at a fairly funny angle that my midwives simply didn’t feel comfortable taking care of. Of course, seeing as it was over 90 minutes between when I gave birth and when I went to the hospital, I wasn’t bleeding horribly; the tears were just awkward. I haven’t pooped since I was in labour, though…. I’ll write more about the hospital experience another time.
Breastfeeding — so far, so good. We are having a little bit of an issue with getting the latch right in the dark at night, but since we’re kind of both learning how to deal with one another in this way, I’m not too upset by it. Chris turns on the lamp, Maia and I work out our latch, and everyone’s happy. My next goal is the perfect the side-latch while lying down move, so we have to move around less at night.
Sleeping — what’s that? I’m running on Mommy Adrenaline or something right now, because I’m definitely not running on regular energy. I’ve stopped trying to keep track of how much sleep I get per night, because it’s not really relevant; what matters is that my girl is getting fed. I don’t feel tired, although I know my body actually is and it probably needs more rest to heal; my shoulders and neck are incredibly tight (and you don’t want to know how many typos I’ve made trying to write this post so far). We’re actually finding that she — and we — sleep better if we swaddle her up and set her between us in the bed, which was not at all what we intended to do. She will sleep in her bassinet for a few hours and then once she wakes up from that, all she wants is to be near us.
My baby girl is beautiful though. She’s getting more beautiful every time I look at her. This morning she woke up (quietly) around 7am, and as dawn broke I was feeding her, watching her, watching the sun brighten her skin with hues of rose and orange, and it brought tears to my eyes. We’re so lucky to have her here.
And now, she needs to feed, so I need to go.