Yesterday was the longest day of my life. Maia woke up at 8:30am and slept only for half an hour between then and 11:30pm, because she had brutal gas and just could not settle down. This also meant that she was in my arms all day long for comfort, and although I managed to squeeze in a few quiet minutes with her in her swing, bouncy chair, or in Daddy’s arms, for the most part I was lugging around my baby all day. Not such a bad thing in general, but a bit tougher when she’s screaming in my ear randomly. Physically, I was exhausted; mentally and emotionally, I felt worn out and abused. It’s so goddamned hard to see her in pain and not be able to do anything about it.
We’ve tried KOLIK brand gripe water — it doesn’t really work for her. Our midwife suggested some homeopathic remedy to give her “in case of a crisis” (which yesterday certainly qualified as), but we haven’t picked it up yet and I can’t tell you what it is because it’s written on a piece of paper in Chris’ wallet. We may try Mylicon or some other thing as well, because honestly, by the end of the day our nerves were so damned frazzled — Chris swore off ever having another child! — and I’ve never had to be so patient in my life (welcome to motherhood?). Massage techniques like running my hands down her bare belly repetitively, pumping her legs up to her stomach, and rubbing her tummy in circles would work well for a few minutes, but once they calmed her down and I picked her back up, she’d eventually get agitated again. Fortunately though, once she did fall asleep around 11:30pm, she was OUT for 5 hours, until Chris came to kiss us goodbye on his way to work.
Today is Chris’ first day back at work after his month of parental leave (which the government still has not paid him for at all… wtf?). So far, Maia’s been her NORMAL peaceful self, sleeping in until 11am. When she woke up, I put her in the Bjorn and we took the dogs out together, and she fell back asleep in it, and she’s sleeping in there now as I type this up. I swear this thing is a miracle worker (I tried it yesterday — she fell asleep and ten minutes later woke up crying from gassiness).
I had a dream last night that took place back in high school. And while it was surprisingly fun, at one point I saw someone with a baby and I got panicky: where’s Maia? I kept saying it over and over in my dream, growing increasingly hysterical, until finally I woke up — to see her lying there beside me, and I calmed down.
There are so many ups and downs involved in all this parenting stuff. Everyone says the first 6 weeks are the toughest with a newborn, and we’re through 4 of them. Really, if her digestive system would just hurry up and finish maturing, we’d be happy 100% of the time!