It’s all supposed to get easier after 6 weeks, right? I’m pretty sure that’s because after 6 weeks, your life has been so utterly consumed by the here-and-now of having a new baby that you’ve completely forgotten what it’s like to live any other way, and it only seems “easier” because of that. My mom laughed at the concept of 6 weeks and said “It gets easier after two years!”
Something that makes me sad is the fact that if I were in the US, my maternity leave would be ending. I can’t imagine leaving Maia with a sitter right now — hell, I miss her when she’s just in the other room with her daddy.
Chris talked to MJ, his mother, the other day about how Maia is sleeping in the bed, and now is on a mission to get her back in the bassinet. I told him I’m willing to compromise — we’ll put her down in the bassinet at the beginning of the night, but if she wakes up at some ungodly hour and refuses to sleep again in the bassinet, I’m putting her in the bed. He said she needed to stay in the bassinet. I said “Then you get to take care of her if she won’t lie down, and I’m going to sleep.”
So that night, we lay her in the bassinet for the night and she sleeps, then she’s up at 2:30 for a feeding. I feed her, she falls asleep easily, I put her in the bassinet and she sleeps. She’s up at 4:30, but after nursing and changing, she’s wide awake and doesn’t want to go back to sleep. For an hour, I stay up with her in the dark and calm her down; she starts settling, closes her eyes, and her limbs go limp against me. I try to set her down in the bassinet — she cries. Another ten minutes of soothing, she sleeps; I put her down, she fusses. Another ten minutes. Same thing. So I wake Chris up and say “Guess what, it’s your turn, she won’t sleep in the bassinet for me.”
Now, I could easily have solved this by putting her in the bed with us and letting her sleep there, but the point of this was to make him understand that when it comes to Maia, right now, I KNOW BETTER THAN HE DOES. “She’s not crying,” he says. “She will,” I say, “and so you should grab her and calm her now before she upsets herself too much.” “No, she’ll soothe herself back to sleep,” he says.
A few minutes of fussing later, she starts crying (and I smile). Chris takes her and walks out of the bedroom, and I see a light go on. Whatever, I fall back asleep. I wake up when I hear her cry again, and I decide to go check on them. Chris has all the lights on and is watching television. When I ask him what he’s doing, he gets pissed off and says he’s obviously taking care of her. I said he should obviously be trying to soothe her back into sleep instead of stimulating her with all these lights and sounds. He replies something very nasty that I won’t type here, but it makes me decide that he deserves whatever the fuck he’s doing to himself, and I go back to bed.
Two hours later (I’m impressed at this length of time) he comes into the bedroom and wakes me up. “She’s been awake the whole time,” he says, “you need to feed her, I’m done.”
So I laid her down between us in the bed and nursed her. It was 7:45am at that time. When we woke up, it was 11:30am.
And when she woke up in the middle of the night last night to feed, I took her out of the bassinet, laid her between us, nursed her, and we slept like that. He hasn’t said a word about it.
Because, yes, I know best.