I’ve written about my father before, but here we go again.
A few days after Maia’s birth, a bouquet of flowers arrived at the door. Chris accepted them and read the card — we had no idea who they could be from, since we had seen everyone already, and so I thought maybe they were from him and he was trying to play dumb like “Oh, no, I dunno who sent those.”
His face went blank, and he handed the card to my mother. I was practically bouncing out of my seat: “Who’s it from?” Her lips pursed. She glanced at Chris, then at me, then back at Chris… and handed me the card:
“Congratulations on the delivery of your new baby girl. We’re very proud of you, your Dad loves and misses you very much. Love, Dad & Stepmom”
What the fuck?
I don’t know how to respond. My initial thought was just to send him a thank you card with a picture of Maia. And since then I’ve gone back and forth on whether I should even do that. There are a lot of reasons why I don’t want him in my life, not the least of which is that I don’t want him to feel he has any right to contact my siblings, but then I think… this is my baby’s grandpa. And I remember that he has had two kids with his new wife — they’re my blood, regardless of how I feel about her. Shouldn’t I know them?
I don’t feel like I can ever forgive him. So is it even worth my time to try? Sigh. Two months later and I’m still confused.